Living in “the best of both worlds” takes planning and compromise
As the mother of three young children (including two pre-schoolers), FACEM Dr Sara Towle says the best part of being a working parent is experiencing “the best of both worlds”.
The worst part, though, often walks hand-in-hand with that benefit: those moments when Sara says the act of trying to navigate both those worlds leaves her feeling “like I’m doing a half-job at both”.
Her transition back to the workforce after each child – sons aged five and three, as well as a 16-month-old daughter – was made easier by feeling “well supported by my colleagues with regards to all aspects of the job, including easing back into on-call”, Sara says.
Feeling comfortable about taking regular breaks to pump breast milk for her children also helped.
““I feel I have taken skills with me from my parenthood journey that have only improved my work as a doctor – both clinically and in administration.” ”
“However, I am aware of my privilege as a FACEM and do acknowledge that,
for trainees in some places, they may not feel this support with the power dynamic,” Sara says. “I'm hoping ACEM’s Statement on Parenting in Emergency Medicine will go some way to rectifying this.”
Starting a career in medicine while also planning life as a parent can be a challenging balance at times, but, driven by her belief that “there’s no perfect time, and there’s no guarantees”, she recommends that people should “do it as soon as you and your partner (if applicable) want to and centre your decision around that”.
Maintaining confidence matters
She admits to a fear that time away from medicine because of parenthood may soften her skills but, after three children, has developed a more pragmatic outlook.
“Sara’s own advice is simply to “be kind to yourself” – something she acknowledges is often easier said than done and is still a work-in-progress for her.”
“After baby one, I was convinced that I would have forgotten everything and was nervous about returning – now, having gone through the process three times, I realise that it does come back, and it doesn’t take long before it’s like I never left. Not only that, but I feel I have taken skills with me from my parenthood journey that have only improved my work as a doctor – both clinically and in administration.”
A commitment to ongoing education
Managing the ongoing education that a career in medicine requires is another important consideration and something she says she’s “continuously working on”.
“I currently have one fixed day off per week where the children are also at daycare, which allows for some known set hours to work on CPD/college work/general education,” Sara says.
Without extended family support near where she lives with her family, Sara says the workload is doable “mainly as my partner and I only work 1.0FTE between us”.
When it comes to offering advice to new parents, Sara says that, while everyone will typically have some tips to share, it’s important to cut through the clutter and only listen to the bits that truly resonate.
“Put the rest to one side,” she says. “But be prepared to change your thinking – especially with another/different child!”
For parents returning to the workforce, Sara’s own advice is simply to “be kind to yourself” – something she acknowledges is often easier said than done and is still a work-in-progress for her.
“You still need some ‘me’ time that is separate to work and being a parent. Even if it's an hour a week.”
